Tinder

 I made a Tinder profile. I'm not talking about years ago. (Although I did make one years ago, but I'll explain more on that later.) I'm talking about last week, more or less for research for this piece. (It's long since been deleted since I've gotten what I needed.)I'm not looking to start a romantic relationship. Heck, quite frankly, I'm not ready for that again. Relationships are scary. A genuine relationship means making yourself vulnerable. It's like giving someone a loaded gun. They have all the power and means to hurt you with that said weapon, but hoping that they choose not to. My last relationship? He's a doll, nonetheless, but he left the relationship to do what's best for himself. Because I do genuinely care for him, I chose to respect that. 

For a while, I would call this season my "waiting" season. What exactly was I waiting for though? The guy to return? A big opportunity to pop up? God to use me in some extravagant way? Honestly, I don't know what I was waiting for. I just knew that I was waiting for something to happen. I wish I could elaborate further so that fully grasp the situation, but I am at a loss for words. There aren't enough words to describe all of the things that would go through my mind. But I'm using this season to further my ministry. 

Let me tell you more about this Tinder project. Tinder is considered a dating app. It's available in English, as well as 44 other languages. On the App Store, Tinder Inc. has described their app like this:

Welcome to Tinder-- you can be here for a good time, and a long time, too. With 30 billion matches to date Tinder ® is the top free dating app, making it the place to meet new people. Whether you're looking for love, need a date today, or just want to chat: We've got something for local singles everywhere, plus free features that give you the best dating experience possible. Like what? Glad you asked. 

-Whether you're gay or bisexual, be proud of who you are with our Orientation feature. 

-Prove you're the real deal and verify your profile with Photo Verification. 

-Find out what you've got in common with your potential match with Interests. 

-Bring a plus one on all your dates for extra safety with Noonlight. 

Take us with you on your travels whether you're dating in Berlin or dating in Chicago-- wherever you go, we'll be there. Some people call us their most dependable matchmaker, some people call us the world's most popular free dating app, but you can just call us when you want to meet up with singles. 

In my Tinder profile, I was my true self. I didn't lie about my age, name, or interests. The pictures on my profile are the very ones I post on Facebook or Instagram, so nothing revealing or "sexy". And in my bio, it was plain and simple: "Christian. Entrepreneur. Writer. Singer. I once auditioned for American Idol. Oh, and I have a blog. Let's see if you can make a good story or whatever." (If you end up in this, I apologize. But the bio did give you a forewarning.) While I am straight, I opened my profile to both men and women. My reason behind this is so that I can a full perspective of the app itself. When I made a Tinder years ago, my profile was only open to men. My romantic interests are found in men, obviously. But as a woman, I don't know what the heck other women use as profile pictures. I don't know what they put in their bios. So unless I fully opened it up, I could not have gotten a full idea. I know some of you are probably tsk tsking me, but I promise, this has a purpose. 

Disclaimer: I am in NO WAY judging anyone for their lifestyle or choices. This is just my personal gathering. I'm very open-minded, so I'd love to hear your thought processes as well. I'll respect you, but I do ask that the respect is reciprocated. There's absolutely no reason why people, who have different opinions at that, can't have civil conversations. I don't expect you to think the exact some way as I do. 

For a so-called "dating app", Tinder is very interesting. There are profiles for men and women, and couples, even. But there are also profiles for dogs, anime characters, and I even found one for Jesus. Very original, right? For those who are unaware of how Tinder works, you can swipe left or right on pictures of people. Typically, if you find them attractive, you swipe right. And if you don't, you swipe left. Anyone who has swiped right on you can chat with you, as long as you swiped right on them as well. But I found a common theme amongst the profiles and their bios. For Tinder to be a dating app, these people carried themselves in noncommittal ways. Drinking, smoking, partying. Flipping the camera off, or being a "tease" via their pictures. When you think of an ideal significant other, those things are not important to a relationship. In fact, those lifestyles are the ones that scare people from relationships. I'm not saying that you can't have fun. But for people claiming to be looking for a relationship, they want anything but. In the few days that I have been on the app, I've noticed that a number of people are just looking for a quick and easy hookup. Or sugar babies- which, btw, are scams. Ironic that this app promotes dating and relationships, but the users make it clear that dating isn't their intention. 

I've come to this theory. We live in a society that is always looking for the next big thing. I'm guilty of it myself. For example, I love Apple products. For about two years, I had an iPhone XR. Late in 2020, I decided that I wanted an 11. Was anything wrong with my XR? Nope, nothing. It still worked like a charm. Not a scratch on it, but it wasn't "new". It wasn't the hottest product out on the market. Our mindset is based off of throwing the broken away and buying new, instead of fixing the broken. "Out with the old, in with the new". The old doesn't even have to be broken now, it's just old. That's where the issues come into play. And it's no longer just young people. Majority of the population under 45 has that same mindset. It has come to the point where relationships fall into that category. They're so easily replaceable. If there's an issue with the relationship, many people feel that it's easier to just leave than it is to work things out. We don't put all of our eggs into the basket, in fear that it won't work. We live in a world that is so easily connected. Texts. Calls. FaceTime. And in our attempt to make meaningful connections with people, we fail miserably at being decent human beings. Let me tell you this. A pretty face does not guarantee a functioning relationship. Tinder has become an app more meant for entertainment than it is for dating.

God still has me in this season of singleness. I know that there are plenty of "fish in the sea", but if it's not someone that can worship God with me, why would He set them up with me? I had plenty of people message me, but how many messaged me about my Christianity? of 978 likes, 11 did. Only 11. Dating apps like this only hinder the plan that God has for your life by stalling it. Had I went into this with a different mindset, I could have had a completely different outcome. But, I know the season that God has me in, and I'm embracing it. You don't need the entertainment of other people to thrive in life. Or to do the works of God. Being Christian, can even intimidate the wrong guys. It doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything wrong with you. I went through that as well. But trust the process. 

• Proverbs 18:22 "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." Stop looking. Start doing the works of the Lord. Start working on yourself and it'll all play out. 

• Matthew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and these things will be added to you."