Dear Younger Me,

At 21, I would like to think that I’m fairly happy with my life. I have a wonderful support team — my family, some of my closest friends, and of course my darling boyfriend — and I have my head on my shoulders pretty well, or I’d like to think so. But, it hasn’t always been that way.

At 21, I’ve also made my fair share of mistakes. I hung with the wrong crowds, dated the wrong guys, and let negative things fill my mind. Things that altered my character… for the worse. If I could go back, I would do some things differently or avoid some situations altogether. While I can’t go back and redo these things, I can learn from my mistakes and move forward.

This is my letter to younger me.

Dear freshman Jasmyne, 

You’re about to start a new school. There’s one thing I cannot stress enough to you. Be yourself. You don’t have to pretend to be something that you’re not. When you pretend being someone else, you draw in the wrong crowd. You don’t have to fit in when you were created to stand out. Older kids may seem like a better idea than the ones your age, but it’s not. They mean drama. Keep away from them. Find friends who are like you. You love God. You want friends who build you up, who hold you accountable. If you have to water down the Bible for them, THEY ARE NOT IT. You’re going to come across plenty of people in this life. Good ones and bad ones. You are not their judge. Be nice to them. Share the gospel. They could be one word away from their breaking point. And when you’re at your breaking point? Stop. Take a deep breath. Even if they caused your pain, DO NOT TAKE IT OUT ON THEM. Some people in this world are just ugly. But some people take their frustrations out on those who are easily accessible. You’ve always made yourself accessible to people. No, they shouldn’t treat you wrongly out of it. But plenty will. You don’t want to bleed on people who didn’t cut you to begin with — blood is hard to get out of some materials.

 As for boys. Ohhhh, boys. We love them, don’t we? (Insert slight chuckle) Don’t even think about it. Not like I know the future or anything, but those relationships will lead you nowhere. Date to be intentional. Y’all are still young, so you still have some learning to do… but if you can’t see yourself growing with them — while maintaining being true to yourself — rethink it. Not every guy who gives you his attention has good intentions. Be cautious. Some of those boys don’t want your heart. Lust and love are very different.

That being said, not everyone who tells you that they love you actually loves you. Open 1 Corinthians 13. “Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not boast.” (You know the rest.) More importantly, “love never fails”. Love is more than a feeling. It’s a choice. Choose who you love wisely. Psalm 4:23- “Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.” Love can make you do some DUMB things. Be careful with that word. It can destroy you just as easily as it can build you up. Not everyone is going to love you. That’s okay. But not everyone who says they love you will actually love you either. As Christians, we are to be like Christ- loving everyone regardless of their love for us, or the lack thereof. That’s a hard pill to swallow. When people wrong us, we want to give them a taste of their own medicine. “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” Mary Poppins said something like that. But let’s take it a step further. Being kind/sweet to our enemies will cure the sickness from their hearts faster than giving them what they gave you. And lemme tell you, evil, freshly desires can be contagious.

Not everyone you meet in life will stay in your life for the whole duration. People come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime. YOU get to choose what you’re going to do with the knowledge you gain from each. Jasmyne, later in your life, you’ll hear a man preach. And it will follow you for the rest of your life. If I could warn you ahead of time, I would have. He said, “Show me your closest five friends, and I’ll show you your future.” It wasn’t that he was a fortune-teller, or psychic, but who you hang around is what you’ll become most like. If you hang with thieves and crooks, chances are that down the road you, too, will join them. But if you hang around wise men, you will become wise. So, let me tell you this. Choose wisely. Your future depends on it.

Sincerely with Love, 

— A little bit wiser (and older) Jasmyne

I wish it were that easy. To warn myself of what’s to come. My life sure would be a lot different. But I don’t hate myself for who I’ve become. I’m proud of my character, and that I love people so deeply. If I could go back, knowing what I know now, the only thing that would change is how I treated people. Other than that, I wouldn’t change a thing. God has my whole life mapped out. He gives me insight as I need it, not for me to get frustrated, but so that I don’t get overwhelmed with everything He is doing in my life. I, for one, am beyond blessed to have a Father that is so invested in me, as if I were His only child. He’s like that with all of us.